i woke up this morning next to a body i didn't recognize.

i'm looking down at him, and thinking that last night couldn't have happened but knowing that it must have happened because here i am looking at him, and there he is, lying there, his breathing steady, his eyes shut tight. my hand's been resting on his stomach, and i can't move it for fear that he'll wake and i'll be forced to realize more than i do now that he's actually lying here, and last night really did happen. not that i remember what last night was. all i really remember was looking up and seeing him looking at me. and he smiled.

really, looking down at him now, he's not really anyone i would want to find lying in my bed in the morning. his nose is a bit big, and his eyes, there's just something wrong with them. but when he looked at me from across the club, and he smiled, i just melted. i mean i wasn't really looking for anything then. i was just there, and we were going to have some fun, dance a bit, get a couple of drinks, then go home, maybe talking about the guys we had met. but then he smiled at me. and i really didn't know what to think. in that one moment, his teeth, perfect, open, slightly parted, peeking through those perfect lips, i forgot about everything else. i forgot about the drink in my hand, i forgot about the music that was playing. there was only the smile.

and now i look down at him, and i wonder what that smile could have meant to me at the time. i wonder whether or not everything that i read in that smile in that moment was all that he wanted it to mean. whether everything that i did because of that smile was really worth it and whether, when he wakes up, he's going to know what his smile did to me.

and i wonder what his name is.

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